As my life being a student nearing the end, I tend to treasure things around me.
At the beginning of my very last semester at INTI, I did not held a lot of expectations on how I would want to uplift the things that could make me happy nor make me feel the way that I should treasure on when you are leaving student life behind for good.
Friends described me as nice, caring, friendly, sociable, easy-going. Deep down, I'm depressed.
I am still finding that alternate happiness in my life. I enjoyed giving people pleasure, seeing people laugh makes me think that I am capable in finding that happiness in others while I praise for my quirky intact of such alternate talent in me. So was being a giver was all I ever wanted in life?
People started telling me to appreciate the times during student life. I started to doubt that statement; questioning about everyone perception. Was it because I was being very emotional and delusional about things in life that I overlooked at the happy things in life? Maybe I was being pessimistic about life; too demanding about what I want.
I always want more out of these. I wanted more than just a girl being friendly, nice, funny. I wanted to be upheld by someone as a respectable people, someone to be look up to, or awe by inner beauty and of greatness.
Lately, I have a friend asking me about my post in Instagram and why was it empty. And I told her that I wanted to find a new direction in life before posting anything. I wanted my post to be sentimental and valuable; something worth keeping; hence, I have yet to find a new direction in life.
Despite all the things I have said, I must say that I am blessed by the people surround me. This has changes a little of my perception ever since I have attended my final Uni trip at Yogyakarta where I have experienced things that I have never experienced before; ticked off some of my bucket list that I have never tried before; reminiscing the times of what does it like to be a kid having fun without any worries and burden in life.
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