Personal problem

People believe that being an Aries is something to be proud of because they tend to be very ambitious person and always set their head held high up above other people. Most importantly is that we are mostly being called as 'perfectionist'. Well, as an Aries, let me get this straight....



1) First of all, we THOUGHT we are perfectionist, because we tend to have that thought and that interest to ourselves but in reality, action speaks louder than WORDS RIGHT???, so we don't really have these perfect records in our lives. Likewise, no one is perfect though.

2) Who the hell said that we are smart people? We are definitely not. Well, it all depends on their genes I guess.......mostly were depends if individuals have that determination and hard at work or so, then no doubt you will definitely score well.

3) I personally am a very lazy person here. I never take a 30 min nap before unless someone wakes me up for other urgent reason. The least I took was around 2 hours. YES! 2 FREAKING HOURS! Recently, I always study about a day before my test. Surprisingly, I managed to studied all 5 chapters at once. Though this definitely cannot be defined as 'studied' but usually able to get average marks for MCQ questions, so yeah......well, of course essay test definitely will be the biggest obstacle for my results. Anyway, I am a very lazy person.

4) I wouldn't say that I am a pessimist person nor a very optimistic person as anyone who knows me well tend to think that I am very open to anything whether if its a really bad outcome or good ones, the fact is, I got used to it. And by means of that is that I'm so lazy I accepted the fact that it was I who single-handedly destroyed myself, anddddd my life.





Sounds bad though. I wish that I could like really overcome these. Even though I have said it many times. What I experienced today, i hope that it gave me the motivation and a really good lesson learnt to help me through this. Honestly, It was all about being myself, a better self.

Happy birthday Jia!

Birthday girl is legally 20 this year and we had such great 2 years+ moments together. She is superb in any way. Highly dedicated and passionate in her work. She definitely stress the hell out of her due to her activities encountered during her studies period yet she handled it so well. I understand just so because I once thought I was this dedicated, or this passionate but I was just that lazy myself.

So last week, we had a mini celebration for her. We went a really cool restaurant there called 'Morningwood cafe'. I must say that their spaghetti white sauce is yum to the top. Will definitely go there again. So here we are; Second family of hers, traditionally taking we-fies together. Thankfully there were not many people there, and the staff were nice enough to take pic for us, and comfy ambience.......so why not?

Happy Birthday YAP HUI JIA!

This shot of her is my personal favourite. She looks fairly cute in here. And young I must say. hahahaha

So coincidentally on the same day itself, our Org Behavior class conducted by the ever lovely Ms Maz, she was known for organizing event and getaway trip out as our core assignment instead of research and paperwork, so we had our very first task on the same day, we went to catch a movie at MBO. YES! A MOVIE AT CINEMA! (task) 

So it was a pretty cool experience. I mean like how often you get to have that kind of opportunity right? Everyone in class were my past classmates so we get along well pretty quick. All in all, it was awesome.

Oh, did I forget to mention that we are heading to Malacca with the same bunch of people this Wed (task too) ? YES! WE ARE HEADING TO MALACCA TO CATCH A DRAGON BOAT RACE EVENT. can't wait...... more pics otw!








Ok, so here's another event attended on the last last Sunday night. Just a day before class starts. This has to be weddings season now cause, this was actually my second wedding this month (both are my dad's family side) and i just attended a wedding exactly a week before that. So yeah. It's beautiful anyway~
Congrats to newly wed couple. xoxo

A selfie of myself. It was really random moment for me that time. 

Toodles

 This was actually taken like about 2 months ago? They are basically my friends from high school. Well, life tickled us in different directions so we basically parted in so many ways and only, well basically a few times then we are able to meet up. Being with them makes me feel at ease, we don't discuss about other people, in fact we talked and tease about ourselves (obviously) to each other AND that's the fun of it. Basically we are some sort of bared-culturally adapted group while we embrace the true self and basically don't really bother much about how we dress ourselves (cause.........we don't talk fashion) as well as opened to many new difference about each other. 

Oh and meet LYM bf! He's a nice guy :)

I love this pic below. So candid-licious.

Sorry with this, but they are so adorable that YM is very much in awe with their cuteness that she had to secretly take down of their faces. 

Okay, so here's the thing. My class started about 2 weeks ago already and I'm about to drown myself with definite not-going-to-pass period. I just had my first test of American Government, and obviously it did not went well, despite being surround with smart peeps and a whole large bunch of them. So after class.....................................I went out and I was literally stoned for a moment and I walked around endlessly, thinking what to eat to make myself feel better but I couldn't stop at one place. I just swarm passed the same building all over again. Asia cafe, japanese food, mcD, Starbucks, cafeteria, new cafes like project space, morningwood etc etc. And I've settled down at one spot- Sushi Flash..... ALL BY MYSELF. Which brings to another bad news, my potato dear is not with me this time. Not likely the next few times. Do not feel like discussing further anyway. She's just gonna part ways soon.

:(

Freedom

I remembered those moments were like yesterday. We used to talk a lot and now we don't. And not because we hate each other but it's because the longer it took for us to interact with each other, the more awkward it seems even when we try to talk to each other NOW. How funny.....

It was like yesterday. 

Going through pictures and organizing and compiling them in my social media account and found some really cool post from the past that I would never thought that actually happened to me before. 

So I talked about it. I had a chat with bf and we talked about bullies and being strong and tough. Literally everything. I'm pretty sentimental and emotional so I cried a little yesterday, I care about little things, and I end up losing confidence in basically everything. I have developed the feelings of both hate and fear of taking selfie of myself, being selectively social at the point which I'm very open to only people that I'm really, really close to but secured myself entirely when I'm with others, I don't have confidence in me, myself as I tend to be over-concern about how I look or how I dress, how I am to others. I used to want to please people but now I'm just lazy to think about it, and lately I'm just like 'whatever'; 'who cares', 'oh yeah, I'm fat...here's my belly'. The worst is that............I've shutting down myself from meeting outside world; I just want to stay home, I want to protect the house, I can't keep going out, I don't wanna spent so much from my parents, my dad needs to be healthy, my sis needs to be protected. 

What my mind going through right now are all these thoughts. 

To define 'freedom' is tough, and not to mention that embracing the inner freedom in me......well, is that even possible? We'll see.

Friend in need is a friend indeed

Every single bit of college life is really amazing and unforgettable.

Considering the fact that everyone here is amazingly friendly, not self-centered, very considerate and understandable.

I am proud to call myself an INTIAN! 

Though there are hard times whereby between the hardship of a person to another, there are not always perfect moment and can sometimes be very disturbing but still its somewhat part of a very beautiful memories to be remembered.

I love every bit of it. I love going classes, even though there are some difficulties in studies (but that's pretty minor part of  it), every one of them are very passionate and always be part of doing things together enthusiastically.

Here are some pictures to help refresh my mind once again before more and more are flooding in:  

Leann Birthday! Everyone gone crazy 

Before presentation and role play. And also its a Mid-Autumn Festival.  

Our first ever class trip to Malacca, around almost 20 of us went up there.

Guys.......and girls, it was nice meeting all of you. You all are very nice and caring and took really good care of me as sister.I love every one of you~ :)

My favourite men

Two of my most important man in my life
my DAD and my man- CT

I couldn't bear seeing or knowing them getting hurt, definitely not witnessing it.
I kind of understand how a person felt after losing their family members at young age. Specially for those whom had memories with them are still fresh in mind.
There was one day my dad came back late at 4.30a.m and I actually stayed up late just to wait for him. As for those who doesn't really understand how I felt right now, well....I cried despite waiting for the late-at-home dad. It really kills me inside when I had those unwanted and selfish images running through my brain of what could have happen to my dad, I really need to see a psychologist *touchwood I couldn't even bear to talk about it more now.
I don't know if it was a type of sickness, but whenever I had the sudden urge to wake up and think a lot and at times like this, my mind just wouldn't stop worrying anything at all. EVEN IF ITS A VERY VERY SMALL ISSUE!

My dad had some issue with his health. To be honest, he smokes. I had to confess about it as I couldn't bear to hold it to myself. I was over-worry and I should be. He had his business well taken care of many years ago after he decided to work by himself and alone, and after all these years of doing purchasing business, he suffered from leg pain issue, sudden swollen on his ankle, and I had to witness him having trouble standing up all by himself with his hand wrapped with bandages and band aid on his back. It hurts me so bad. Sometimes I could tell that, he still wants to be the man of the house. But I just want to protect him so badly.

I was finally able to build up some courage to tell him to just stop smoking. Oh well, seems nothing changed at all. He doesn't want to seek doctor but to keep intake some medication from the pharmacy. I was mad but I couldn't and wouldn't curse or blame him at all, he needed the care and love from all of us.

Sometimes my mom would question things like the reason for why do I always sided on him and always worry about him more than her, but if I were to ask myself, I treat everyone equally, just that my dad is a very difficult person. From outside, he is a warm heart-ed father, heck funny person as his sense of humor was just beyond amazing, people would often listen to his jokes all the time, but when he is home he would be just sometimes grumpy, sometimes treat me and my sis like his baby girls with his fatherly tone and sometimes became very manly by taking a huge responsibility up to his both shoulders of taking care every bits and pieces of the house.

I'm starting to be the "girl of the house" now. I have been controlling around a lot, most likely enjoyed having everything well taken care that feeling, sometimes being bossy, I just want my dad to have a good rest and be healthy like other father. I'll be good, daddy. I love ya.
Hate my tears falling again.
What can I say, it must be some daughter syndrome.

Beautiful Sunday

Picture credits: 

Ng C.T

A guy that filled my life with wonders.

Thanks for noticing me for past 5 years and hopefully still counting. It wasn't easy for me to accept myself as who I am and the confidence in me and also the thought that I actually can be loved by someone; though it's been 5 years already but I've only....like NOW ONLY realized that I'm special in someone's eye despite being just loved by my family (of course).

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I specially love this shot of myself. Thank you.